How to get to know your baby during pregnancy?
What we're offering here is, in a way, an Advent calendar of emotions. A little preview of the strong bonds you'll forge with your baby once they arrive and you begin to get to know each other . Tears of joy, smiles, and giggles are all on the agenda!
When we talk about getting to know your baby, we're obviously talking about touch and hearing. Unfortunately, to know who your baby will look like, you'll have to be patient. And don't even mention ultrasounds and other 3D images; you always leave those appointments completely bewildered, thinking you've seen their smile or their little hand waving hello, when in fact it was just their elbow or a knot in the umbilical cord. And that's if you actually see anything at all… because nothing is more illegible than an ultrasound for the uninitiated. And if, on top of everything else, your baby decides to pull a Britney Spears pose for the paparazzi, you won't see anything but the palms of their hands (but thank goodness, they do have two) before the birth.
While waiting for the big day, we get to know the baby , commonly called "the star", through activities capable of creating a bond in utero .
Let's take a quick detour before we get to the heart of the matter: all these techniques work… but not with every baby. It's all a matter of personality, in a way: even as tiny babies, there are the shy ones (Oh, hey, I'm not fully grown yet, leave me alone!), the sulky ones (I can tell I won't like it anyway), the lazy ones (Oh dear, exercise… thanks but no thanks!), and the divas (when I want, if I want, and that's that). So the key to all this prenatal communication is to try, try again, and persevere until you see the first sign of interest from your little one.
Tell him stories
Stories, sweet nothings, jokes (if he starts hiccuping, you're really funny), secrets (about his other parent, of course), and even, why not, the thrilling tale of your umpteenth day spent in pajamas during lockdown (let's be honest, a pregnancy in 2020-2021 wasn't exactly what stopped you from getting up to all sorts of mischief). Whatever the topic, just start a conversation to get to know the baby .
The voice is indeed a powerful vehicle for connection and emotion between a baby and its parents. Around six months of age, the fetus is able to hear and recognize sounds and vibrations characteristic of its environment. Therefore, we multiply the experiences and involve the immediate family (siblings, relatives, etc.), varying the intonation and volume of our voice to discover what the baby prefers and how it reacts.
Once a bond is established and the voice is recognized, it's common for the baby to participate in these family discussions. And once out of the maternal cocoon, facing the vast unknown that awaits, familiar voices will be a great comfort to the newborn.
"I thus discovered that Lily had conspired with her father against me to make me understand that my rendition of Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You was not her favorite lullaby. From the very first notes it was very clear... boxing seemed to be her favorite sport" Marie-Noëlle, Milk Away MUM.
Introduce him to good music
We concentrate, things get complicated. Two options are available to you: either we unpack the karaoke kit, the disco ball for big nights and sing our hearts out, or we leave it to the professionals and open our playlist app.
That thorny point is cleared up. The second, equally sensitive one remains: what constitutes good music? Yes, it's true, starting this kind of debate is playing with fire, it threatens the stability of couples, the harmony of families, and so on. To avoid any unnecessary drama: trust us and turn up the volume on the hits of the 90s. A safe bet. And since it's been a year since the nightclubs closed, let's not hold back from enjoying the vibe with our partner, as Diam's would say (we can hear you humming…), and letting ourselves go with a few dance steps that will lull the baby to sleep.
Generally, your little one will also get into the mood, and you'll all enjoy a truly special moment together. Music is soothing, that's a fact. It's quite possible that your baby will remember the sounds they heard in the womb and prefer them to others. Alternatively, a gentler way to get to know your baby is with a Bola, a small, bell-shaped pendant that hangs from a long chain, resting perfectly on your belly, and chimes with every movement of the mother. These regular, soft sounds lull and reassure the child, even after birth.
Exchanging knowing high fives
More seriously, this is called haptonomy . It is defined as the science of human interactions and emotional relationships . In practical terms, during pregnancy and once the baby starts moving, it is possible to get to know your baby by attending sessions where you are taught how to strategically place your hands on your belly and communicate through touch .
For some couples, this experience is powerful and truly amazing. Realizing that by simply positioning your hands you are able to influence the baby's attitude and position (he gives his hands or feet, turns from one side to the other) and to elicit responses from him to your stimuli is truly incredibly moving .
Often, this concrete physical contact allows parents to fully experience the baby's presence. Becoming a parent becomes less abstract. The benefits of haptonomy even extend to childbirth, as some fathers report being able to guide their child during labor and relieve the mother's discomfort.
Of course, to try the experience you better like feeling the baby move, which is not the case for all women and frankly, when you think about it, it is true that it is still a little surprising to feel and see that another living being has settled in nice and warm in the middle of your organs #alienmood.
To start daydreaming together
The ideal way to get to know your baby is to choose the activity you like best and indulge in it without moderation: massage, flotation session, yoga, meditation or hypnosis , any activity conducive to relaxation and well-being is likely to provoke reactions in the baby.
Naturally, during these activities, we are fully aware of our bodies and sensations, making it the perfect time to connect with the baby and pay attention to the signals it sends us. It's often said that fetuses in utero are like sponges , absorbing both positive and negative emotions . This is a scientifically proven fact, as cortisol , the stress hormone, can cross the placenta.
"For us, it was obvious that these moments of relaxation had a direct effect on Lily; the deeper we sank into relaxation during the hypnosis sessions, the more the little one did Zumba, as if she was happy—and wanted to let everyone know—to be able to enjoy these moments of well-being before we could actually hug each other." Marie-Noëlle, Milk Away MUM.
It's up to you to test the best way to get to know your baby!
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